Men At Work, I can’t support this
activity any longer, Max..Relax, Jack..Only two more days, we move
our whole disposal operation
north,.out of your jurisdiction..You promised me those
barrels would be leak-proof
for 150 years!.A slight miscalculation..Look, it’s this simple..I have an obligation
to produce paint thinner..You have an obligation to
provide a place for me to
dispose of the waste products..I’m not afraid of you
anymore, Potterdam..If I have to expose
the whole operation, I will..-I’ll bring us all down.
-I think you’re smarter
than that, Jack..You can’t pay me enough, Max..You can kiss your chances
of getting elected mayor
good-bye,.Mr. City Councilman..It’s bigger than
an election, Max..(STARTS CAR ENGINE).Boss?.There is a time and a place
for everything, gentlemen..(REWINDING).POTTERDAM: You have
an obligation to provide
a place. for me to dispose
of the waste products..I got you..POORMAN: (ON RADIO)
Good morning. You’re
listening to the Poorman. on the world-famous KROQ. and you still have time
to call in on Open Line. where, at 5: 00 a.m., let’s
face it, you can talk about
absolutely anything.. It’s live, it’s uncensored,
and I’m not even using
the tape delay. because this is
prime time radio.. The 2: 00 to 6: 00 a.m. show,
where management sleeps..(SIGHS) I gotta go to work..POORMAN: (ON RADIO)
South Bay beaches are
breaking one to two feet,. with no shape,
just like my ex-girlfriend..Could you leave your board?.I may go out later..My surfboard?.Yeah.
You promised me last night.. POORMAN: (ON RADIO)
Okay, got that outta the way.. Now let’s go to the phones,
where we can talk about….Yeah. You can use it.. POORMAN: (ON RADIO)
No tape delay.. Here we are on Open Line.
Good morning, you’re on
the air..FEMALE CALLER: Hi, Poorman.
POORMAN: Hi. Where are you
calling from?. -South Bay.
-Well, what can I do for you?. FEMALE CALLER: You see,
my boyfriend just left me. and I’m really bummed
cause I loved him a lot.. POORMAN: Well, why did your
boyfriend leave you?.FEMALE CALLER: He found
me and his best friend in bed
together.. POORMAN: Well, what do
you expect him to do. if he found you in bed
with his best friend?.FEMALE CALLER: I don’t know.. He could have maybe been
more understanding..POORMAN: Well, you’ve got
a problem that you’re gonna
have to work out..FEMALE CALLER: Yeah?
POORMAN: But not on my show!.-(HANGS UP)
-(POORMAN LAUGHING).I hate politicians..(PHONE RINGING).Yeah?.WALT: (ON PHONE)
Are we coming to work
today, Mr. Taylor, or what?.Yeah, Walt,
I’m flying out the
door right now..Let’s see if my favorite
little stewardess is up yet..Lookin’ good..Oops. Busted..Fly those friendly skies..Now, that is the
perfect relationship..Wait a minute..Hello..What are you looking at, pal?.Good morning..Time for that morning
cup of hot java..Coffee for one.
Three scoops, please..Nice selection of wines..Good California chardonnay,
bottle of Dom..No market brands
in this house..Only the best..Now for some sliced papaya,
if it’s in season..Shit. Mango.
I should have known..I wish I knew your name..(ENGINES REVVING).Carl..-Thought you were
gonna be a no-show.
-Almost. Thanks..(HORN HONKING).Frost and Luzinski?.Yeah..Hey, I don’t know about you
shitheads, but we’re on
a time clock..Let’s move!.Gina walked out
on me last night..-Really?
-Yeah. Moved
all her stuff out..Face it. You’ve been trying to
bail out of that relationship
for a long time..CARL: Yeah. I just didn’t
expect it to be so sudden..(HORN HONKING).Paybacks are a bitch, James!.-Have you
seen my gloves, amigo?
-In the glove compartament-ay..(BOTH YELLING).-Hey, mister!
-Shut up, you dickhead..WOMAN: Yes, I know that.
I understand..Mmm-hmm, I have it
right here in front of me..Yes, I’m still here..Now, about those mailers..First off, you guys did the
colors wrong, but I let that
pass, because I’m nice..Now you’re telling me, with
the election one week
around the corner,.that the mailers are
gonna go out late?. MAN: (ON PHONE)
I’m a little backed up..If you don’t get those mailers
out by tomorrow afternoon,
I’m pulling the account..-MAN: You’ll pull the account?
-Uh-huh..Bye-bye..Jerk..(SIGHS DEEPLY).I gotta hide this..I got a ton of things
that need your
signature, Jack..-Can’t it wait?
-No. I also have
a cassette of a band.that we might want to
use for the fundraiser..I thought since we’re short
on time, you could listen
and decide..I really don’t have time.
If you like them, use them..I trust your judgment.
That’s why you’re my
campaign manager..You gotta trust your staff..-Are you okay?
-Yeah..Listen..(SIGHS).-You’re doing a hell of a job.
-(CHUCKLES) Thank you, Jack..CARL: I didn’t sleep
for shit last night..-JAMES: Why not?
-Gina..Gina, Gina, Gina!.Let her go, man..-Let her go.
-I have..She is historical..Said she couldn’t be
with a garbageman
the rest of her life..Didn’t you tell her
you weren’t gonna be
a garbageman forever?.-Did you tell her about
our surf shop?
-I told her..I think she was getting
pressure from her family..-Her father never liked you.
-Yeah, what does he know?.-Life’s a bitch, right?
-Yeah, ain’t that the truth?.I tell you, Carl,
this is the last year
we throw trash..-You said that last year.
-This year, I mean it..You meant it last year..-Carl, is this yours?
-No, it ain’t my color..It’s a bra, James..Look at this smut..If it isn’t the
South Bay’s finest..What happened, Mike,
did they take away your
vroom-vrooms?.You see, this is the kind of
scum you’re gonna have to
get used to around here..Jeff’s new to the force,
so I’m giving him the tour..He’s also my new partner..So you’re gonna be seeing
a whole lot more of him..Wonderful..Yeah, you’re gonna
like it here, Jeff..The air’s clean,
the women are beautiful,
and the shifts are short..You know, most of the
folks here in Las Playas.are hardworking,
with a future in mind….With the exception
of these two clowns..They’re part of the
don’t-let-this-happen-to-you
crowd. (CHUCKLES).A word of warning,
my garbage-toting friends,.from your friendly
neighborhood peace officer..I’ve got my eye on you both..If you’re not breaking the law
now, the smart money says.that it’s only a matter
of time before you will..And you can bet
that last dollar.that my ass is gonna
be there to make the bust..Golf clap?.Golf clap..”Dear John, I’m sorry things
didn’t work out for us..”You’re a sweet man,
and I’ll always love you.”.BOTH: Aw!.You know, this is the kind
of shit that really breaks
me up..-It’s an epidemic, I tell you.
-What is?.Just women, relationships,
all of it..I never have
a problem with it..-Hi, James. (GIGGLES)
-Morning, baby..-That’s cause
you got no heart.
-What?.You got no heart..Who was the last girl
you were serious about?.Betsy Sabetta..Betsy Sabetta?.That was in the ninth grade
and she had a harelip..-She did not.
-She did too..-She did not!
-Did too, did too!.-What do you know
about her, anyway?
-I know she had a harelip..What an absolutely
gorgeous day..Warm sun, beautiful women..BOTH: And the air is
just right for drinking..Would you just look at all
the activity that’s going on
down here, Carl?.It’s close, man..I can see it. Right here.
Right on the Strand..”Carl and James’ Surf Shop.”.It’s gold. It’s a gold mine..Just think of the garbage
business as a way station
on the road to nirvana..Maybe now that you’re single
again, you can put more time
and energy into….Wait a minute! Hold on!
Wait a minute! Just a second!.I have put a lot of energy
into getting our surf shop
together..And we’d be a lot further
along if I didn’t have to
do the work of two..(SCOFFS) Pardon me?.Let’s not forget that it was
me who chose the bank
to get our loan from..Let’s not forget that
we didn’t even get the loan..I mean, it’s not like
you researched it..You picked the name
from the yellow pages..What exactly are….Good God..What exactly are you trying
to say here, Carl?.What I’m trying to say,
James….Is that sometimes,
you are completely hopeless..-Really?
-Yes..-Carl?
-Yeah?.-What exactly did
you mean by “hopeless”?
-I meant exactly what I said..JAMES:
I still don’t understand..Let’s examine the word..Hope-less..Less than hopeful.
That’s what you are..But am I, like, majorly
hopeless, or partially
hopeless?.I would say majorly..-Why do you ask?
-I’ll try to change..No, you won’t..I need to talk to you, Leo..Jack. Nice to see you..I need your help
on something, Leo..I know who’s responsible
for the toxic dumping
off Las Playas,.and I’m kind of involved..Jesus, Jack..I just never thought
it would go this far..Look, it’s all on the tape.
Listen to this..(UPBEAT SONG PLAYING).-I can’t even…
-What is this, some
kind of a joke?.That’s not the right tape..She took the wrong tape!.(SCREAMS).What are you talking about?.-The wrong tape!
-Wait a minute!.Come on..-Let’s do the nasty.
-Do we have to?.Yeah. Afraid so..Nasty! Nasty!.Yeah, Dalton here..Listen, Jack Berger
was in here earlier today..Claimed he knew
who was responsible for those
Las Playas offshore dumpings..Claimed he had some kind
of a tape that could prove it..I don’t know,
this might be nothing. but I thought you should know..You did the
right thing, Captain.
I’m sure it’s nothing,.but I appreciate the call..-DALTON: Anytime.
-Thank you..A tape..A goddamn tape..Shrewd move, Berger..Hey boys,
where’s your originality?.(SCREAMS).This means war, man..This is shit. It’s shit!.Get it off me, Frost!
Get it off!.It’s shit!.It’s payback time,
you little shits!.WALT: Gentlemen, inside now!.What’s up, Walt?.Nothing too serious today..Got a complaint about banging
trash cans on P Street at
6: 00 a.m. this morning..-You boys know
anything about this?
-No, sir..Who rolled the bowling ball
down the alley into Avenue H?.Can’t help you
there either, Walt..In the two years
you have worked here,.you have broken just about
every city ordinance.that pertains
to this line of work..-Well, you can’t say we
haven’t been a lot of laughs.
-(BOTH LAUGHING).I’m glad you have a sense
of humor, Mr. St. James..Unfortunately,
the majority of the people
in this community do not..Now, me, personally,.I like you boys..Which is why I’m giving
you another chance..Starting tomorrow,
you boys will be riding
with a third party..What?.I have decided to send
an observer along with
you on your route,.a representative of Shoreline..-Who’s the observer?
-My brother-in-law..(CHUCKLES).Consider yourself
on probation..I suggest you be on
your best behavior..(LAUGHING).JAMES: The nerve of Walt,
sending us on our route
with a goddamn baby-sitter..CARL: Don’t worry about it..”What does a….”Phrenologist feel
and interpret?”.The size of Walt’s asshole..(CHUCKLES) Wrong..No. A phrenologist
feels and interprets.the bumps on your head.
Skull features..Very good..”Who was Richard Nixon’s chief
of staff during the final days
of Watergate?”.-Oprah Winfrey.
-(LAUGHS).No, that was Alexander Haig..That’s right..-(BANGING ON DOOR)
-“What does gasoline…”.MAN: Open the door!.WOMAN: Jack?.-Jack, is that…
-The tape!.-Jack?
-What did you
do with the tape?.Jack, what are you doing here?.Jesus Christ!.Give me the tape!
Get out of my way!.Jack!.-What are you doing?
-I hate shitheads who
bully their women..So what are you gonna do?.-Shoot him.
-What?.-It’s the principle, James.
-With a pellet gun?.What are you gonna accomplish
using that stupid thing?.It allows me to seriously
aggravate a situation.without actually changing
the course of history..-It also stings like a bitch.
-This is the wrong tape!.Jack!.I’m glad that’s over..Carl, what are you doing?
Everything’s cool now..Mister, it’s nothing personal..-(GUNSHOT)
-Ah!.(BOTH SNICKERING).-(WHISPERS) Where do
you think you got him?
-Butt shot..He will never lay
a hand on her again..(BOTH LAUGHING).(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING).You know what, asshole?
I wouldn’t have voted
for you anyway..Stop it! Stop it!.-What?
-Shoot the guy!.You shoot him in the head,
his head goes all over
the furniture..Genius..Mr. Green Jeans,
you want to come over here?.Touchdown! The tape..-Fucking genius.
-Touchdown..Let’s go..Man, this guy’s really heavy.
I gotta start working out..-You should go to the gym.
-I hate weights..-No. You work on
your cardiovascular.
-What’s that?.Get yourself on
one of those lifecycles..-What’s that?
-Stationary bike..-Yeah?
-How are they?.They’re great.
They got cross-country
ski machines,.things where you row..Come on. Get him in there.
I want to go eat..Come on, come on..I got it. Start the car..All right,
Jack, I have the tape.
I really hate… Jack?.(PLAYING ROCK MUSIC).(PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC).(PLAYING ROCK MUSIC).(PLAYING CLASSICAL MUSIC).Touch that again,
I’ll kill you..I swear to God, I’ll kill you..What’d I do?.Why don’t you go faster
and see if you can put me
through the windshield?.(ALARM RINGING).-(CRASHES)
-(CAT MEOWS).Where the hell am I?.-Time for work.
-Boy, oh boy..James….Do us both a favor..Whatever you do….Don’t give this observer guy
a hard time today..I figure if we behave
ourselves,.show him that we’re
a couple of good guys,.we’ll get him out of
our hair a lot quicker..Okay..For all we know,.he could be some
crazed combat veteran..(WHIRRING).You’re driving too fast..So, Louis, you’re
Walt’s brother-in-law.
That’s great..-He speaks highly of you.
-What do you know
about anything?.Walt’s a nice guy..His sister must be nice, too.
I’ve never met her though..When I feel
like talking to you,
I will look at you..Gotcha..You writing stuff about us?
Sorry. I’m sorry..This sucks..What did you say, son?.The name is James..Well, James….If you expect to keep this
job, I suggest you tell me
what it was.you were mumbling over there..James?.I said, “This sucks.”.And, basically, so do you..(LAUGHING).(ALL LAUGHING).Why, you little… Come here!
I’ll show you to talk to me
like that!.CARL: Goddamn it!
He’s driving the truck!.This Louis guy’s
a total nightmare..He’s not playing around,
let me tell you, James..Yeah, I feel really bad
about that, Carl..Probably not as bad as I do..(VOCALIZES).-James, promise me something.
-What?.-No matter what you do,
do not provoke this guy.
-I promise..-I’m serious.
-I promise..How’s that nose?.It’s okay..I still owe one to the
intended receiver..You know, man,
you are a total pain
in the ass….James, Louis is gonna be
with us for the next couple
of weeks..Accept this as fact..Now, when are you
gonna shake hands and
stop behaving like children?.Good..-Put that on the back
of your neck.
-Thanks..There are several sacred
things in this world that
you don’t ever mess with..One of them happens to be
another man’s fries..Now, you remember that,
and you’ll live a long and
healthy life..(MOUTHING) What the fuck?.(TIRES SCREECHING).(WHISPERS) James..James..What?.I think you
better get over here.
Take a look at this..What is it, Carl?.Just take a look..(BREATHING HEAVILY).-What the hell is this, Carl?
-It’s a dead human being,
James..Yeah? What’s he doing
on our route?.Lookie here..Looks like somebody threw away
a perfectly good white boy..And he sure looks
a hell of a lot like
that dude..We’re screwed..What do you mean “we”?
You pulled the trigger, pal..Look, Louis, we gotta talk..-See, Louis, Carl
sort of knows this guy.
-So?.-I don’t know him at all.
-What I’m saying is,
he shot him..-With a pellet gun.
-But he thought he
hit him in the butt..I did hit him in the butt..You two seem to be
in some serious shit here..I need a drink..Look, Louis, I know that
I did not kill this man..Last night, this guy here was
beating on his old lady..So I took it upon myself
to end the dispute..-So you shot him?
-With a pellet gun..So you said..-Now, you shot him from where?
-CARL: From my apartment..So, how in the hell
did he end up here?.Why don’t you ask him?.Have some.
It’ll settle your nerves..My nerves don’t need settling!.What is the maximum
sentence for murder?.I did not murder anyone!
Jesus Christ, whose
side are you on?.-I am not taking sides.
-Yes, you are. You already
convicted me..As far as you’re concerned,
I’m on my way to death row..-Now, Carl, come on.
-Let me tell you
something, pal..You are in it as much as I am..You were there.
That makes you an accomplice..You little bastard, I never
wanted you to do it in
the first place..-I was totally against it.
-Try explaining that to
the judge..I am not gonna have
to explain anything
to any judge..-This is your ball game, Carl!
-You are an asshole!.And you are
a trigger-happy idiot!.I am not going to
rot in prison alone..You’re not gonna mess up
my life, you son of a bitch..-What are you doing?
-You and your stupid
pellet gun!.(BOTH GRUNTING).Get off of me!.I’ll kill you.
You’re a stupid man!.-You’re a stupid little man!
-I said, “Enough!”.I said, “Cut it out!”.I said, “Knock it off!”.Now, look, unless one of you
two guys took a piece of rope,
or a piece of wire.and strangled this guy,
I’d say you’re both
in the clear..How the hell do you know?.You can tell by the
marks on his neck.
Look at that..Pretty sloppy job, too..Not a great idea
to keep him out in
the open like this..No!.I don’t like this, Carl.
I don’t like this one bit..-Yeah.
-I’m going to the cops..What?.Looks like they’re
coming to us..I hate cops..Well, well..Another fine day
in the dumps, fellas?.Who are your friends?.I’ve never seen you
around here before..Louis here works for the
company, and he’ll be
riding with us.for the next couple of weeks
to police our activities,
so to speak..-Is that right?
-Yes, sir, Officer, sir..-What about you?
-He’s….I didn’t ask you, garbageman..I’m asking the punk
who looks like he’s
had a few too many..What the hell’s
the matter with him?
He looks friggin’ dead..The boy’s had a rough night.
He’s, you know….A cousin of James..Anyway, he flew in from….Texas..-We were out late
showing him a good time.
-Wherever he’s from,.he shouldn’t be out on
the street in his condition..I could haul you in, you know!.But for now, I’m just gonna
give you a warning..That’s very kind
of you, Officer..Yeah. It is..Get him inside the cab of that
truck and make sure he stays
there until he sobers up..-Do I make myself clear?
-Crystal, sir! Let’s go..Not so fast..I’ve got the whole
Las Playas police department
clued in to you two bozos..You may have escaped
me this time,.and all I can say is,
relish this moment,
gentlemen..This is wrong.
This is just wrong,
wrong, wrong..We should’ve just told them..Told them what?.That we found a body
in the trash?.Just happened to
be Jack Berger,.the same man I shot
with a pellet gun?
Are you nuts?.Those guys are looking for
any excuse to put us away..Let’s get out of here..We’ll stash the body, get back
to work, and figure all this
out later. Okay?.(STARTS ENGINE).Son of a bitch..I can’t believe this.
We lost the body..Relax!
We didn’t lose the body.
It’s here somewhere..It’s in a big yellow can.
How can we miss it?.What the hell do you mean,
you’ve lost the body?.It just kind of fell out
of the back of the car..Oh! (CHUCKLES).-Find it! Find it,
find it, find it!
-Yes, sir..Your very lives depend
upon it, gentlemen..What the hell are
you waiting for?.Sir, we did find the tape..Oh! (CHUCKLES).Thank God..You’re excused..(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING).Wait a minute. The girl..What girl?.The girl we saw
Berger fighting with..What about her?.Maybe she had something
to do with his death..Yeah, so she strangles him,
stuffs him in a barrel and
dumps him along the esplanade?.(SCOFFS)
Makes a lot of sense, Carl..You know….That stiff’s starting
to get a little gamy..You guys come up
with anything?.Carl seems to think
that Berger’s girl is
somehow involved..Louis, the last time we saw
Berger alive was during
that fight.across the street from
my apartment, right?.It’s not enough
to go on, Carl..It’s a place to start, James..How about calling the police,
like we should’ve done first?.Carl’s right.
It’s a place to start..We’re not going to accomplish
a goddamn thing standing
around here..So you guys are either
with me, or you’re not..I thought you knew
how to rig that thing..I followed the instructions..(CREAKING).LOUIS: You guys have anything
good to eat in this place?.CARL: I can order us a pizza.
LOUIS: Sounds great..Pepperoni, extra cheese..Maybe we should put
ol’ Milhous someplace less
visible. What do you say?.CARL: Yeah, I need
a large pepperoni,
extra cheese,.to 828 Esplanade,
apartment 405.
Last name, Taylor..Yeah..Okay, what’s the
total on that?.Hey, Carl..Hello..LOUIS: She hardly looks
like a cold-blooded killer..What now, hotshot?.How about going over there
and telling her that we got.her boyfriend’s dead body
sitting in our shitter?
(CHUCKLES).What are we gonna do?.Stand here watching her like
a bunch of long-distance
peeping Toms?.No..I’m going over there..-What?
-What?.-I’m going over there.
-What for?.I don’t know, snoop around,
see what I can come up with..Carl, this is not some game.
What if you’re wrong?.What if she didn’t have
anything to do with this?.Well, James, it sounds
as if you’re really worried
about me..-Are you sure you know
what you’re doing?
-Come on, guys..I’m not gonna get in
over my head..Yeah, that depends
on which head you’re
talking about..Look, we got your back.
If anything funny happens,.don’t be too shy to scream..Okay..Save me a slice..Do you know where
he keeps that gun of his?.(DOGS BARKING).What is he doing?.What am I doing?.Uh-oh..(BOTH SCREAM).-Don’t kill me.
-What?.-What?
-What?.I’m sorry..-Are you okay?
-I’m fine. I’ve never
been better..-Do you live here…
-I’m sorry if I….You first..-Do you live here
in the building?
-Yes..Yes, I do live here.
For five years, I’ve
been in the building..That’s funny.
I’ve never seen
you here before..I lead a very private life..I’m a phrenologist..What exactly does
a phrenologist do?.I feel and interpret
the size of Walt’s asshole..I mean, skull features..(GROANING).Not to impose,
but if we can go inside.and put some ice on this
ankle, that would be great..-Inside where?
-Your apartment..-What’s the matter with yours?
-No, no..My ice machine is broken,
and yours is right here..Are you gonna refuse
a wounded man in dire
need of medical attention?.(CHUCKLES) No..Thanks..-But I didn’t catch your name.
-I’m Ted Blandston III..Susan Wilkins the first..JAMES: He’s inside.
He’s inside her apartment..Out that light..What the hell is Carl doing?.JAMES:
I don’t like this, man.
I do not like this..LOUIS: Shh..JAMES: Asshole.
LOUIS: Asshole..The hell with this.
I’m calling the police..No cops. I hate cops..I’m sorry. Which ankle was it?.It’s the swollen one..-I really appreciate this.
-It’s no trouble..Are you friendly
with the Cotlers?.-I think…
-Second floor?.-Ron and Ann?
-Oh, sure..-I figured, since
you’re both doctors.
-Right..We’re all doctors..Where exactly do you practice?.I got a small office
down in the medical district..I could really use a drink..Just one..-Me, too.
-Thanks..(GRUNTING).(GASPS).(BOTH CHUCKLE).-Sorry.
-I could’ve brought it to you..Thank you..(EXHALES SHARPLY).(STAMMERS) It’s for the pain..I rarely touch the stuff..-Can I have another one?
-JAMES: I don’t believe this..They’re doing shots,
for Christ’s sake..I can’t believe I’ve never
met you before..I thought I knew just about
everyone who lived in this
building..As I said, I lead
a very private….”Very private life.” Yeah.
(CHUCKLES).You know,
you’re a very beautiful woman..No, I mean that.
I’ve always thought so..What do you mean, “Always”?.What I meant was that
you’ve probably always
been beautiful.and it’s a shame that
I’m just now discovering this..Oh..I’m sorry. I didn’t
mean to embarrass you..Well, you did..You want to switch
to champagne?.Sure. If the Dom Perignon
is chilled, that’d be perfect..How did you know I had Dom?.How did I know you had Dom?.Doesn’t everybody?.(CHUCKLES).-Where are you going?
-I’m going to the bathroom,
Louis..Jesus..Carl spends the evening
with a beautiful woman.and I’m stuck here
with a lunatic and a corpse..I don’t believe this guy..(VOCALIZING).(HUMMING).I can’t do this with
you staring at me..(KNOCK ON DOOR).-Who is it?
-DELIVERY MAN: Pedro’s
Pizza and Pancakes..Yeah..Okay..Large pepperoni, extra cheese..Yes, indeed. That’s us.
How much?.-$8.
-How much?.$8..Okay, that’s one,
two, three, four..-What’s going on here?
-Mind your own business, son..Okay. Thank you, sir..You’ve seen too much..(BOTH SCREAMING).Louis, what the hell
are you doing?.He saw you with the body..He could start
all kinds of trouble..So you kidnap him?
Good solution!.Here, take the money!
I won’t say anything
to anybody!.-You bet you won’t.
-(SCREAMS).What the hell?.Extra cheese?.You’re a madman!.He was provoking me..This situation has definitely
gotten way out of hand..Get back to that window
and keep Carl covered..What the hell
do we do with him?.We need some rope..(PHONE RINGING).You gonna get this or what?.First, you lose the body,.and then you deliver
me the wrong tape.. Now, I don’t think
that either of you.personally set out to
destroy my company..But I sent you out
on a simple task,. and simply put,. you loused it up..Now, apparently,.Berger had a special
relationship with his
campaign manager,. a Susan Wilkins,
825 Esplanade..That’s where we iced
Berger, Chief..I know where that is..Did it ever occur to you two
idiots that she might have
the cassette?.I think he wants us to kill
some more people..Okay..If I had my 16,.I could pick
her off so easily..(VOCALIZING).This is good. Did you make it?. WOMAN: Hanoi Hanna
reporting from Hanoi Hilton.. Yankee dogs might
as well give up.. The war is lost.
Jane Fonda was right..Are you hungry?
Would you like some?.-Don’t give him any, James.
-Why not? He might be hungry..He’s a prisoner..He should be treated
accordingly..Have you completely
lost your mind?.We’re not soldiers
and he’s not the enemy..-He’s a pizza man.
-Back in Phu Bai,.he would’ve been killed
the second he knocked
on that door..I would’ve snapped his neck
like a twig, and he never
would’ve seen it coming..-Louis, calm down.
-The commie bastard
gets no food!.CARL: Oh, yeah..Yes, indeed..That is deep.
That is definitely deep..Yes..Hmm….-That’s an interesting one.
-Hmm?.-So is that one.
-Hmm..You were born through
Caesarean, no?.-No.
-It’s not an exact
science, of course..Apparently not..Mangos.
You love mangos..(CHUCKLES)
How did you know that?.It’s all here in the contours..Yeah..So, that’s phrenology..It’s fascinating, no?.Mmm. No. Weird..You know what?
First, let’s take this off,.and let’s do something..-We are doing something.
-No. Let’s get out of here,.and do something..-Like what?
-I don’t know,
but it’ll be fun..Why this sudden
burst of energy?
My ankle is….-Your ankle. Come on.
-Hang on..-Want me to get this?
-Oh..Do you always look
in people’s trash?.Sometimes, it’s the best way
to get to know them..JAMES: No, no, no..I want to report a murder
and a kidnapping..-WOMAN: A murder
and a kidnapping?
-Yes, that’s right..-WOMAN:
Did they take the body?
-No. I have the body.. -Did you kill the victim, sir?
-No, I didn’t kill him.. -Have you been kidnapped?
-No, I haven’t been kidnapped..Listen, I know this sounds
really strange, but…. -I don’t think we
can help you, sir.
-Fuck me!.Isn’t that what the police
are supposed to do,
help people?. -Sir…
-Now I am telling you….(SCREAMING).They’re leaving. Let’s go..Damn it..Let’s move it. Come on..The pizza clown goes with us.
Get him on his feet.
I’ll get tricky Dick..Up..I want you to know,
James, this is all going
on my report..That’s great, Louis.
Just make sure you
spell my name right..Don’t cross me, James..All right. Let’s whack this
broad and get the tape..Jesus Christ..That’s Berger..What the hell?.Get back here, you goof..-Who’s the kid in
the clown suit?
-I don’t know..(MUFFLED GRUNTS).Those bastards are gonna pay..Oh, yeah, they’re paying..There’s the broad..There goes the broad..Come on, come on. You moron..(TIRES SCREECHING).Are we late for something?.Faster, James. Faster!.I got it to the floor, Louis..(TIRES SCREECHING).Who are those guys?.How the hell am I supposed
to know who they are?.And where do these guys
get off taking our body?.Come on! We’re losing ’em!.(POLICE SIREN WAILING).Oh, Christ..-Oh, shit.
-I’ve almost been
waiting for this..Now, you see this here?
This complicates things..I just don’t like killing
cops too much..Forget about the body, okay?.They’re the ones
driving around with it.
I say we stay with the girl..Potterdam says
she might have the tape..Biff, help me, all right?
Who just died and made
you king?.Hey, Mario, how ’bout this?
Your mother did!.Don’t you ever say anything,
ever, about my mother..Your mother did.
Your mother did.
Your mother did… Mario!.How do we handle this?.Just pull over..Okay, everybody, act natural..Well, look who we got here..I am in no mood for
this right now, Mike..Just write up the ticket
so we can all get on
with our lives..I might not be able to let
you off so easy there, Jimbo..See, you were doing 65 in
a 35, and you ran a red light..That’s reckless driving
as far as I’m concerned!.Who else you got in
there with you, Jimbo?.(STAMMERS).What the hell is
going on in here?.You’re never gonna
believe this, Mike..(STAMMERING).(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY).I’m totally floundering.
I can’t come up with
a good lie..(LAUGHS).What did I tell you, James?.I knew you were crooked..And I knew I’d catch up
to you sooner or later..Everybody out of the
vehicle, right now..-Don’t do it!
-Don’t shoot!.-He’s got a gun!
-Please don’t shoot!.(MUFFLED GRUNTS).Yeah, cop..I know you, man..I know what you’re thinking..You’re thinking,
“We got another crazy
nigger with a gun.”.Let me tell you something..Human life means very little
to me at this point in time..You see, I thrive on misery..In the jungle,
misery’s all you got..But things are different
back here in the world,
or so they seem..Nobody wants to talk about
pain and suffering..Everybody wants everything
to be nice and civil..Okay, then..Let’s be nice..Let’s be civil..And let’s drop those guns
before I pull the trigger.and change the way
you feel about me..Will the officer to the rear
of the truck kindly drop
his revolver as well?.(LAUGHS).You know, you cops must really
think I’m as dumb as you look..Now, don’t you know
that when a flashlight
hits the cement,.it makes a completely
different sound than
a revolver?.Let’s be good boys,
and do exactly as I say..Okay. Now, I want
Mr. Sneaky Man.to come around
and join his partner,
Mr. Bonehead..Sorry, guys.
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY).You will swing
for this, James..I shit you not! (SCREAMS).Now, I don’t know,
boys, but they look pretty
goddamn sweet to me..(LAUGHING).What do you think?.(BOTH LAUGHING).What do you think?.How you doing?.I’m okay..I think my body has gone into
shock from all the alcohol..I’d like to sit
down, actually..(SIGHS).(CHUCKLES).What was that for?.You didn’t like it..No, I liked it a lot..Then shut up..Feels like we’re
driving in circles..Carl could be anywhere..You want some?.Promise you’re not
gonna scream and cry
if I take that gag off?.Now, if you’re lying,
Louis will have to bash you..You do understand, don’t you?.Thank you. Thank you..-Needs sugar.
-What?.Nothing..It’s not looking
too good, is it?.You giving up?.I never give up..I never have.
Never once, James..I’m gonna take us back
along the esplanade..Feels like a long shot to me..At this point in time,
everything’s a long shot..Can’t see anything.
Frost, give me some light..This is just a little
uncool, Luzinski..Our brouha is with Carl,
not with the chick..I’m just making a simple
adjustment, nothing major..Shake ’em up a little bit.
Now, can I have some
light, please?.-Thank you.
-Come on, hurry up..Yeah..Now, let’s find James..Teach that simple bastard
a lesson, too..Hi, kids. Are we having fun?.-Ted, what’s happening?
-Who the hell are you guys?.Shut up, you!.What the hell is that?.-It’s a taser.
-A what?.A taser.
65,000 volts of electricity..This thing completely
incapacitates the victim
without killing them..-I got it on sale.
-Let’s move it..Let’s go. Put your hands up..Ted, I think you should
do something..If you come up with any ideas,
please let me know..We have the right to know
what’s going on here..Put a cork in it, sister.
You have no more rights..And you, buying
a goddamn laser gun..-Taser.
-Whatever..You always gotta
be so different..I’m in no mood, all right?
Just lay off..No, you gotta be creative..I said, “Lay off.”.When I say “Now,”
start running..-But why don’t you educate me?
-It’ll get you nowhere..You know,
you’re an amazing man..You know shit about
absolutely nothing..Now I’ve heard just
about everything..Hold it, honey..You listen to me,
you Italian son of a bitch,.and you listen good..The day you tell me I don’t
know shit, and I let you get
away with it.-is the day that that
ocean freezes over!
-That’s it. You’re over..-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLES)
-(SCREAMS).Now!.-That’s my car.
-Looks pretty undrivable..Come on..Come on. Let’s go!.Ted, what the
hell is going on?.I left out a couple of
things about myself..I’m waiting,
you son of a bitch..First of all, my name’s Carl..So from now on,
when you panic, yell “Carl.”.Something tells me
there’s more..Last night, you and
Jack Berger had a fight
in your apartment, right?.How the hell could
you possibly know that? Ah!.Look, Susan,
I don’t live in your building..-I am a garbageman.
-What?.I live across the
street from you..I’ve been watching you
almost every day for
the last six weeks..Wait a minute!.Wait a minute.
You have been spying on me?.-I don’t consider it spying.
-What would you consider
it, then?.Let me finish!
Look, you and
Jack had a fight..You left angry, and the next
day, I found Berger’s body
in the trash..-Jack’s body?
-Somebody killed him, Susan..-For a while,
I thought it was you.
-No, Jack is not dead..-Jack was over at my
apartment last night.
-Trust me. Jack is dead..My God. No. Jack came over
because there was a mix-up
with a tape..I went to my car to get
the right tape, and….The tape.
This is what had
Jack so worked up..Come on! We gotta
get this to the police!.What the hell was that for?.For lying to me. I hate liars!.Hates liars?.That’s for spying on me..Come on!.(GROANING).What happened?.It was something.
You got struck by lightning..Really?.Freak storm..Police..CARL: Thank God..-Police!
-Hello!.MAN: Over here,
by the playground!.Ugh!.(BOTH GRUNTING).-Sorry, guys.
-Wait!.It’s not what it looks like..-No.
-Please, give us a hand..-No, I’m really not
into it, but thanks.
-Carl!.Come on, Carl!
Everything I ever
said about you….-Ha! Just kidding!
-He was! (CHUCKLES).You’re not really gonna
leave us here, are you?.That would be….(BOTH LAUGHING).(BOTH GRUNTING).-Come on, already!
-About 1,000 keys here!.-Try this one.
-I’m trying..(TIRES SCREECHING).I got it!.-Look out! Look out!
-Move!.(BOTH PANTING).-It’s my turn, asshole.
-(POLICE SIREN WAILING).-What is he doing?
-What are you doing?.I’m crashing!.Down!.(BOTH SCREAMING).(GROANING).I’m back..-Let’s go, honey.
-Ah! Ah!.Move it..Chief, we got ’em..We found ’em..(LAUGHS).Allow me to introduce myself..I’m Maxwell Potterdam III..Maybe you’ve heard of me.. California Magazine
just did a piece on me..With the exception of being
misquoted several times,.I thought it was
a pretty good article..Anyway….All that is unimportant..This.is what’s important..Let’s put these folks in the
car and go someplace.a little more noisy..-Okay, let’s do it.
-Come on, move it..That’s them getting
into that limo..-What the hell’s going on?
-I don’t know, but we’re
gonna find out..I knew this was
gonna get heavy..A lot of good this thing
is gonna do us..A pellet gun?.You’ve been holding me hostage
all night with an air rifle?.Shut up..This is too much..We gotta find a way in there..I got a plan..(CHUCKLING).That ought to do them..I would love to see those
bastards try and top this..I would pay a million pesos
to see their faces when they
try to stop this baby..Pal, the next time
we see Carl and James.it’s gonna be Walt handing
them their walking papers..(JINGLING).(WHISPERS) Somebody’s coming..Come on..-Come on. Move it.
Get up there.
-Okay. I’m going..(STARTS ENGINE).We do live in
extraordinary times..The lengths one has to go
to get the job done..You’re destroying
the environment, and
you don’t even care..How do you do it?.How do you live with yourself?.Gentlemen..Although I’d prefer
to dump you,.along with the rest of this
waste, at the bottom of
the Pacific,.recent disruptions in our
operation have created
a problem..And now, the Las Playas
landfill will become your
final resting place..Buried alive?.Not to worry..You’ll probably run out of
oxygen before we reach
the dump site..Seal them up..-No!
-Wait a minute!.-Let me out of here!
-Wait a minute, goddamn it!.Hold on, everyone..Something’s wrong.
We’re not stopping..-What?
-We’re not stopping!.(ALL SHOUTING).(ALARM WAILING).-What the hell was that?
-Move your ass and find out!.You two stay.
I want those barrels sealed..You two..(COUGHING).Everybody all right?.Yeah. Shit..Get off of me..(MECHANICAL WHIRRING).(BOTH SCREAMING).(ALARM CONTINUES WAILING).Come on. Let’s go..No..I am not some kind of
comic book superhero.
I’m a pizza man..-Stay here and keep
an eye on him.
-Yeah, right..-What’s going on?
-I don’t know..I want the trucks
moving immediately..I want every goddamn drop
of waste dumped before
the sun rises..Okay, Mr. Potterdam..CARL: No, don’t do it!.-Help us!
-SUSAN: Get us out of here!.CARL: James!.MAN 1:
Get ready to strap it in..Okay. Bring them back..Hold it, hold it..Down!.Go this way!.Ah!.Jesus..Holy shit!.(INDISTINCT SHOUTING).CARL: Let me out of here!.Ah!.I’ll pick it up on
my way back..(BOTH GROANING).-Hi, Carl.
-Hi, James..-How are you?
-Never better..(HORN HONKING).Susan! Come on..Come on! We can’t lose them..-We’re not gonna make it!
-We’ll make it!.(POLICE SIREN WAILING).Shit..South Bay Security. Freeze!.Rent-a-cops..I hate rent-a-cops, too..Carl, what the hell
are we doing?.I think I love this girl..Really? How do you know?.She let me feel the
bumps on her head..(BOTH YELLING).It looks like the bolt broke!.No shit!.(BOTH YELLING).-Hang on!
-Okay..Tree! Tree! Oh!.-Carl!
-What?.-How you doing over there?
-Piece of cake!.You need help..-(GROWLING)
-(POLICE SIREN WAILING).(BOTH YELLING).Carl!.(GRUNTING).James!.Hey, Carl!.I think I got a problem
over here!.All right!
Let me think of something!.Hey, James!.I didn’t think
of anything yet!.(CONTINUES GRUNTING).Hey, Carl!.I definitely got
a problem over here!.I’m coming!.(ALL SCREAMING).(BOTH PANTING).(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS).MAN: Mr. Potterdam?.Come on! We got a lot to do!
We ain’t got all night,
you know!.We’re looking pretty
outnumbered here..I got an idea..Follow me..(GRUNTS).-What the hell are you doing?
-Protecting the environment..Freeze..What are you….Everybody freeze
or I blow I his head off!.-He’ll really do it.
-I’m not kidding!.-Don’t push him.
-I mean it!.-His whole head.
-You two with the weapons!.Over the side! Do it now!.Yeah, man, I know you.
I know what you’re thinking..You’re thinking, “We got us
another crazy white boy
with a gun.”.Let me tell you something..Human life means very little
to me at this point in time..(POLICE SIREN WAILING).Relax, James.
The cops are here.. MAN 1: (ON LOUDSPEAKER)
This here’s the police.. You all drop those weapons.. Yeah, you there
with the pellet gun,. drop it or I’ll blow
your butt away
for sure, buddy..MAN 2: Man, give me that!
MAN 1: I sound more like
a cop than you do!. You sound like a wussy, man!.(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY).A pellet gun..(BOTH CHUCKLE NERVOUSLY).You think we’d
use a pellet gun for
something like this?.Get ’em!.(BOTH GRUNTING).I gotta find Susan..Susan!.Susan!.-Give us a hand!
-Come on! There he is!.Uh-oh..Stop them before
they get away!.Susan! Susan!.Susan!.What….SUSAN: Help!.SUSAN: Ow!.Where are we?.You don’t wanna know..(LAUGHING).Shit..Carl! Over here!.Get down..Come on. Move out..Let’s move!
Everybody in the car!.-Get in!
-Get the door open!.-Let’s move, we gotta get out!
-(ENGINE SPUTTERING).-Start the car!
-It won’t start..-We gotta get out of the car!
-Shit!.Move it, move it!
Get out of the car!.Come on! Get out of here!.(GROANS ANGRILY). Hi, let’s have a party.. Be careful..(BOTH SCREAM).High five!.Your car, sir..(SCREAMING).Smile, butthead..Ah! Ah!.(GASPING).BOTH: Whoa!.(BREATHING HEAVILY).(ALL LAUGHING).(WHIMPERS).It’s not what it looks like..We’re respectable
peace officers..It’s just all one big,
funny mix-up..(BARKS).(URINATING).No!.-Shoo!
-Shoo!.Get out of here!.POORMAN: (ON RADIO)
Good morning, you’re listening
to the Poorman on Open Line.. We’re gonna take
our next caller.. Hello, you’re on Open Line.
Go ahead..FEMALE CALLER: Yeah, hi.. My name’s Stacey, and I have
a boyfriend I’ve been dating
for two years now.. He works nights as a delivery
boy for a pizza place.. And last night, he never came
home, and I am just positive. that he is out sleeping
with another girl.. I think you should
definitely dump the dude!. These modules are elegant!
Men At Work
This is the glamorous WordPress plugin ever%sentence_ending Two garbage men’s lives are turned upside down when they discover the city commissioner’s body in a trash bin on their route. Over the next 24 hours, they frantically try to keep the body hidden, elude underworld goons and find the real killer.